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Bye, bye, Year 2009. You have brought us many changes, moments of overwhelming joy … and sheer terror. (Remember the Mashed Rutabaga with Cauliflower?) I have discovered my pyromaniacal tendencies and started to play with fire in the kitchen on a regular basis. Knives excite me just as much. Bring it on, Angelina! Who knew? All that led to turning our house into a science lab of food making. There have been plenty of experiments (steaks from a toaster oven is just one example), and so far Jason hasn’t complained.
We have serious reason to be concerned about the future of our kids on this planet (Koyaanisqatsi), but there’s still hope with the growing trend of getting fresh produce from local farmers (Feeling Peachy) and turning to alternative energy sources. We can get healthier with every bite of real food we put in our mouths and what we feed to our offspring. Preparing hearty meals with a variety of vegetables is not that difficult, and never boring. Every time I look at the photos of the Butternut Squash Risotto I made for dinner one night, or my Brussels sprouts on a Bed of Quinoa with a layer of Caramelized Onions, I experience such intense drooling that Jason is inclined to run for a stack of towels to cover the floor around me.
Do you want to hear about the best part? I lost about 15 lbs over the last year WITHOUT DEPRIVING myself of any food. There’s no diet plan, no counting calories, NO STRESS! Sometimes I may overindulge a tad, but who wouldn’t when served those scrumptious Veggie Balls over a bowl of Spaghetti Marinara? Duh! I eat whatever the hell I am in the mood for, and whenever my tummy screams HUNGRY. I hate fast foods with a passion. I avoid processed food products like the plague. However, I am on good terms with a bit of butter here and there. Cream poses no threat to me either. There are no sweets lying around the house, but it doesn’t mean I won’t occasionally get in the car and drive to the bakery for a piece of crunchy pastry when the craving strikes.
What I wish for myself, and for every single one of you, in 2010 is to live more in balance with Nature, stress less, laugh louder, breath lighter, and to age slower. Also, let’s not forget to bring the inner monkey out to play more often.
May all of us see a major shift in the collective consciousness and finally learn how to live symbiotically with Mother Earth so our kids and future generations get to experience the joy and innocence we were granted when growing up.
Thank you for being a part of my 2009. I hope we’ll be able to share and interact more in the upcoming year, and beyond.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!
Visiting Jason’s folks always makes me nostalgic about country living. Even though their town is not quite rural, still they wake up to a view of rolling hills and a medley of trees centuries old.
I got really excited about all the walks we could take while here, in Texas. Yesterday, after all the Christmas commotion settled like dust on the electric snowman, we finally wrapped ourselves up in layers of T-shirts and flip-flops we brought from California, and entered THE COLD. I know what you’re thinking. “You’re from Poland! You should be used to winter chill.” Oh, bullocks! Living in SoCal for more than one winter erases any memory of cold, hence your endurance to temperatures below 50° is no longer and your inner WIMP is revealed.
With trembling hands and clicking teeth, while freezing winds shook up my insides, I pulled out a camera and bravely marched ahead. Here’s what we came across on our walk in the neighborhood.
Buffalo.
Cosmo discovered he really is a Sheppard and not a Shih-tzu dog.
Dead Santa. Drunk maybe?
After such a REFRESHING walk, nothing is more comforting than a hot shower, a fuzzy blanket over my body, Jason right beside me, and a book in hand. I started reading the one I gave Jason for Christmas, “The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo”. After a few pages I paused perplexed and looked at the name of the author:
“Stieg Larsson is a guy’s name. Hm. The book reads as if it was a woman writing as a male character. Strange.”
Jason put down his read, looked at me, and said:
“Hm. He’s dead, the author.”
“He was still a man before he died, right?”
“Probably. (pause) I never saw his penis or anything.”
“Have you seen his face??”
“Nope.”
“His rear end?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“So you wouldn’t recognize it anyways, even if you saw it now, walking down the street for example.”
“Probably not.”
“And now, that the guy’s dead, chances are rather slim you would ever come across his ass anyways.”
“Yeah, it’s highly unlikely me thinks.”
“But you never know.”
“True, you don’t.”
And we both got back to reading.
I owe you a recipe for the MUSHROOM SOUP WITH BARLEY I made for our Christmas dinner. As far as appliances go, all you need is a big pot, a food processor, a sharp knife to chop your veggies, and a cutting board (for obvious reasons).
The soup INGREDIENTS are as follows:
– 1 celery root (or 4 celery stalks)
– 4 carrots
– 2 parsnips
– 1 med leek
– 1 onion
– 3-4 dry bay leaves
– 7-10 whole peppercorns
– 1-1.5 cup of dry wild mushrooms (medley)
– 4 cups low sodium chicken stock
– 2 cups water
– 3/4 to 1 cup barley
– 1 tbsp of dry marjoram
– 1-2 tsp nutmeg
– 1-2 tsp cumin
– 2-3 tbsp heavy cream
– handful of fresh parsley or dill, chopped
– 1-2 tbsp of olive oil
– kosher salt + ground black OR white pepper to taste (about 2 tbsp each total)
Start with soaking the mushrooms in lukewarm water for at least 45 minutes before you even begin prepping your meal. Wash and peel all the vegetables, with a special emphasis on cleaning the leek. Roughly chop all the carrots, parsnips, celery, leek and onion.
Drizzle olive oil in the pot and heat it up. Toss the onions and leeks inside the pot, sprinkle with crushed marjoram, season with salt and pepper, and mix everything well. Sautè the veggies until they get translucent over low heat (5-10 minutes). Add the rest of the vegetables, and season with more salt and pepper. Let them get comfy for another 10 minutes. Now, pour the mushrooms into the pot along with the water they were soaking in. Stir and increase the flame to medium. Cover with a lid and let everything cook for about 10-15 minutes. Turn the heat off and scoop the content of the pot into the food processor. Blend the veggies into a coherent mass and bring back to the pot. Add the chicken stock and water and turn the heat on medium-high. Throw in the bay leaves and peppercorns, season with nutmeg, cumin, more salt and pepper and stir. Add barley, stir again, bring to a boil, reduce the heat, cover with the lid, and let the soup become a soup for about an hour. Check on the dish every so often and stir again.
The soup is ready pretty much when the barley is fully cooked. It will soak up a lot of water, thus making the dish deliciously hearty and thick. It’s up to you if you want to add more water, or leave it as is. Just make sure to taste the soup before feeding your peeps and add more salt/pepper if needed.
Right before serving, pour a couple of tablespoons of heavy cream into the pot and toss a bunch of chopped fresh parsley or dill. Stir and serve. Y.U.M.
The soup is very low on fat, and yet highly nutritious and comforting. Jason likes to soak some bread in his bowl, while for me the soup itself is plenty of food at one sitting.
Don’t forget to remove the bay leaves and peppercorns before serving the dish!
What happened? Where am I? What day is it? Sunday? How did that happen???
We were just packing for our two-day road trip to east Texas, and leaving LA to drive right along thousands of other Holiday commuters, when suddenly I saw a cop right behind me blinding me with those scary blue and red lights. The Police officer pulled us over, asked for my driving papers and warned us of the upcoming snow blizzard. He also suggested we stop in the nearby town over night to wait it out. The next thing I knew I was holding a citation ticket for speeding worth almost $300. Merry Christmas!
Once we got over the 300 bucks assault, we chose to keep on driving for as long as we could. We did reach the southern tip of the blizzard and were faced with only two options: to either stay over night in a motel off the highway, or to change the route while adding minimum 5 hours to our journey. We chose the latter despite horrible driving conditions and directly related skyrocketing stress level. After a close to 20-hour day on the road, we finally arrived at Jason’s parents house at 1 am.
Then the fun part began!
Among the MILLION of Christmas gifts laying under the tree at Dr. Jimmy and Linda Harkins’ house, Cosmo instantly found the one meant for him. His nose never fails. He started sniffing a little box containing his brand new balls and sat by its side ever since like the Queen’s Guard in front of Buckingham Palace.
Minutes before we destroyed the boxes so neatly dressed in seasonal colors, Dr. Jimmy Harkins set the mood with a few Christmas songs he played on the piano. What he really did, unbeknownst to him, he saved his family from going deaf when Agi decided to try her dubious and long forgotten skills when trying to play “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” (or something) on the piano. Yes, I sat down on the bench, stretched my arms, cracked my fingers, cleared my throat, and hit the first note. It was instantly apparent I had no clue how to operate the instrument in front of me. Jason’s father took over, bless his heart, in an attempt to show me a few things. Everyone present sighed with relief.
Jason’s 3-year old nephew, Connor, along with his younger brother are both going through the Spiderman phase. Everything in their world, and I mean EVERYTHING, is about Spiderman. You should see Connor’s underpants he’s wearing under those cute jeans.
The box with the new balls is right behind that fuzzy white ass. “I ain’t moving ANYWHERE until somebody opens that damn box already!”
It took many hours and lots of stamina to go through all the packages stuck under the tree. Despite how generous and well informed Santa Claus was, I could be distracted for only so long. My stomach wanted food! Starved and exhausted by RECEIVING PRESENTS, we sat at the dining table at last and stuffed our faces with Christmas delicacies. There was Smoked Turkey with Dressing and Gravy, a Strawberry Jello Salad, Green Beans, Devil Eggs, Cajun Chicken, Pasta Salad, Biscuits, and my Polish contribution – Mushroom Soup.
Food coma prevented me from taking photos of the commotion around the kitchen counter that served as a buffet and consequently the Christmas feast. Additionally, I only have so much time this morning to report on the events of the last few days before the rest of the gang wakes up and the circus starts all over again. To give you an idea of the energy level in the house let me just say that last night, after sniffing all the new people and places around, then guarding his gift under the tree, then chasing his new balls, then being chased by two munchkins, then chasing his new balls again, and responding to everyone calling his name, finally Cosmo crashed and burned like I’ve never seen him before. He snored louder then Jason and his mother together. Jason’s mom slept at the lake house some 10 miles away mind you.
I hope to be back here with the Mushroom Soup recipe tomorrow.
Ho-ho-ho!
“I have a richard. I have balls! My balls are big. My richard is BIG! You think you’re frustrated? I am the head of the department and still have no say.” – Jason said to Melissa last night when she complained that Hollywood is run by a gang of chauvinistic pigs and she constantly is put in her place only because she’s a woman.
He did not actually say “richard”, you understand.
Both Jason and Melissa were venting their frustration with work, as what a better place for that than a merry Ho Ho Ho party. Their pain, however, meant nothing to us. We laughed so hard at Jason’s sudden and so passionate conclusion that we almost got into an accident. Melissa cried, Brian sprayed his beer all over the table and Leslie’s groovy hat, and I fell off my chair and rolled down the kitchen floor and then a full stoop down to the courtyard.
The party, as spontaneous and last minute as it was, rocked. Even Cosmo had a blast. In fact, he was so hung-over this morning that when I took him to the Pet Wash, instead of his ritual attempt to escape, he looked into the groomer’s eyes and whispered: “ ‘S’up. No perm, please. Just a quiet trim today”.
One lesson I took from last night is to plan the menu better. And by that I mean to prep the food BEFORE a party, so when the guests arrive I get to actually hang out with everybody and enjoy my friends. Last night I spent two hours in the kitchen getting the food out, thus making people migrate into that hot and crowded chamber in order to see me. Not a soul complained, however, once they sunk their teeth into the MUSHROOM PUFFS with a side of SPINACH WITH ROASTED BUTTERNUT SQUASH SALAD and steaming hot CAPRESE TARTS.
I really want to tell you how I made those, as I am still getting thank you phone calls mostly because of those tarts. You’ll have to take my word for how amazing they are, as I don’t even have a picture to share. Why? As soon as I got those little tasty bastards out of the oven, all I managed to do was to cut them in wedges and before I knew it the little triangles disappeared from under my knife. By the time I brought the food into the living room, the platter was half empty. Five minutes later the tarts were just a gloomy and sweet memory.
Let’s give the recipe for my CAPRESE TARTS a try nevertheless.
Your essentials:
– 2 sheets of puff pastry
– 6 small/medium Roma tomatoes
– fresh basil, handful
– 12-16 thin slices of buffalo mozzarella
– 1/2 cup good olive oil
– 1/4 cup aged balsamic vinaigrette
– 1 tbsp honey
– kosher salt + black pepper to taste
– 1 egg for egg-wash
Roll out your thawed out sheet of puff pastry to a 9” x 18” rectangular. Using a 9” bowl (upside down) cut 2 even circles out of the dough. Take a paring knife and gently draw a circle on each piece of pastry, about 1/2” from the edge. Prick the inner circle with a fork, thus preventing the bottom of the pastry to grow when in the oven. Treat the second sheet of pastry with the same manner. Place the tarts on two sheet pans (2 tarts per baking sheet) lined with parchment paper. Put aside in a refrigerator until you’re ready to bake.
Cut the tomatoes in half and scoop out the seeds and all juices. Dice the rest of the tomatoes and put into a bowl. Chiffonade fresh basil leaves and combine them with the fruit. (Yes, tomato is a fruit.) In a separate cup whisk together the olive oil, vinegar, honey, salt and pepper. Pour the mix over the tomatoes, toss around, and store everything in the icebox to chill.
Preheat the oven to 425°. Pull out the tarts and tomatoes and place on the counter. Using a slated spoon, scoop out a little of the tomato/basil mixture and spread within the inner circle of the dough. Now place the mozzarella slices on top. Break the egg into a small bowl, add a touch of water or heavy cream, and whisk it with a fork into an egg-wash. Brush the outer edge of the tart with the egg-wash, and fold it over the caprese mix.
Place both sheet pans in the oven and bake for about 20 minutes until the edges are golden brown and the cheese is melted and bubbly. Serve immediately. You won’t have a choice anyways.
I’m off to finish baking Peanut Butter and Chocolate Cookies that will serve as stockings’ stuffers and also will replace my panties on our Christmas Tree…
Hello, my name is Agi and I’m a dooce‘oholic. The last 72 hours I have spent on the couch, laptop resting under my chin, while browsing through the archives and flickr files uploaded by the Armstrongs for the world to see and get ADDICTED! I haven’t slept, eaten, brushed, or shaved. I may have cut some cheese here and there, but was too busy to acknowledge it. Here’s a proof of the madness found after I had finally scraped my rear end off of the above-mentioned piece of our household.
Seriously, I think I should quit dooce, you know, the most popular mommy blog on the face of the Earth. My maternal instincts have been howling for quite some time now. Hence, Cosmo. Hence, the girls and boys names’ lists. Hence, dooce… The problem with the latter is that every time I visit the website and watch some 30 second video of the Armstrongs’ older offspring, or a picture of their joyous 6-month old dumpling with those HUGE blue eyes, it’s as if I was tossing shots of grain alcohol into a fireplace while standing right in front of it.
It’s not the lack of practice that stops Jason and I from procreating, oh no. On the contrary, we have been practicing with such intensity and devotion that we discovered we possessed skills previously unbeknownst to us. I shall elaborate on that…NOT.
There are several reasons preventing us from making babies, however. The most immediate one is made of lubricated latex. Next, there are several existential circumstances, if you will, that are still amiss for us to start talking family. And if I am to point fingers, a steady income and health insurance, or rather a temporary lack there of must take the blame.
In order to expedite the process of getting our shit together and organizing our lives, I’ve been proactive securing our best odds. Not only have I been flipping coins into the local WISHING WELL, rubbing Buddha’s belly right before bed, offering an innocent lamb to Zeus and the rest of the Olympian gang on every full moon, but also I’ve been trying to start my own business and work as a Personal Chef. Considering how brand new the idea is, I’m proud to say the first clients arrived.
Let me share with you my joy of cooking for people who love the food I make for them. Cheers to the very simple GREEN SALAD WITH MAPLE ROASTED ROOT VEGETABLES.
What you do is you go to a store and pick up a bunch of fresh, organic root vegetables like carrots, parsnips, red and golden beets, and maybe some butternut squash to finish the patchwork of colors. Peel ‘em and cut ‘em in even chunks. Preheat your oven to 400°. Spread the colorful joy of nature flat on a baking sheet, then season it all with kosher salt and black pepper, drizzle with olive oil and then maple syrup (Grade B, always). Roll your sleeves up and get your hands dirty mixing all veggies and spreading the love evenly. Shove the pan into the oven and let them ROAST for 25 to 40 minutes (depending on the size of your chunks, and I’m not talking dirty here).
While the root vegetables are getting their sins forgiven within the hell of your oven, fetch your greens (e.g. arugula, chopped collard greens, spinach) – wash ‘em, spin ‘em dry, and place ‘em in a BIG bowl. Add a handful of chopped toasted pecans, drizzle with a simple BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE (you know: balsamic vinegar, good olive oil, salt, pepper, Magic Bullet or a whisk in a fast hand), and toss around. When your veggies are done, let them cool for a minute and then add to the bowl. Once again, shake ‘em up a little with your salad spoons. Last but not least, crumble just a touch of goat cheese all over the bowl for that extra creamy texture. It’s optional, however, as the salad will be just PHENOMENAL without the cheese as well.
Believe it or not, this very SALAD WITH MAPLE ROASTED ROOT VEGETABLES makes for a delectable, healthy, balanced, and perfectly satiating dinner. If there is anything else to do that evening it’s to enjoy a glass of wine and shag your better half.
One More Bite 